Some things to ponder about

You can never understand why people do stupid things for love, Unless YOU, Yourself experience how it is to be in love....

I shouldn't be affected by all the decisions she's made in her life but I'm still a friend, a concerned friend that only wishes only the best for her. I'll never know why she decided to do all of the things she's done but there has to be a concrete reason other than for Leverage.

For a moment I was taken back to the first time I met her...
She was elegant, pretty, poised to perfection. I hardly spoke to her but that time came when all of us bonded and we became friends. At first I was hesitant to even talk to her since I was the only one who barely knew her since I was new in the group, I've hang around people who barely cared at all before them. It was funny when we were talking since I never knew she was goofy and funny at the same time quite quirky as my friends would say. She was innocent, she almost had this childlike personality that would really amaze you and lure you to like her even more. I miss that girl, where is that girl?

Now I'm taken back to the present, to the reality that is oh so heartbreaking to even write about, The downfall of a Elegant Princess to a Rebellious teen.
Her eyes always puffy from crying the pain away, her face so pale that the glow she has has faded away, those smiles lost in the process of her fall. Her innocent grin turned into mischievous smile. Where is she? Where is the girl we once knew?

My heart breaks, as I learn things I shouldn't know about. I shudder at the thought of her innocence breaking into pieces. We dared to interfere, make her realize everything that might and is gonna happen but her eyes wander off not paying attention to us anyway. I dare not to ask her Why? Why Him? because I know I'll hurt her more by asking.

As we lose her now to the battle of right or wrong. I seek guidance to everyone around me on what have we done wrong? And I ask myself if I dared to ask her or even tell her how we really felt, should it have changed the outcome of what the reality it is we have now?

Sometimes I think too much.

Do you get those times when you think to much?

I do and when that happens I end up doing something I regret. I think of so many things but mostly I think about my future and him mostly.

My future, I’m quite not sure if the path I’m going really is the one that is meant for me and to tell you the truth I don’t even know if this is what I want. But they say that if you don’t see yourself doing what your are doing right now in your future then It’s not meant for you. But I do see myself in the music business but not behind it but more as a performer.

Its just the start of 3rd term and it’s bearing down on me literally, I’m already lagging on Fundamentals of Music 3. It’s really hard and I can’t cope up, I’m pressured to do my best and that’s why I keep making mistakes. I just gotta know how to relax or something. If you know any techniques on how to relax other than breathing in and out evenly please message me. Seriously please do.

I really don’t see myself doing any other track other than Music, I do sometimes in Culinary but I’m planning to take that up after Music Prod. I just want to have that driving force that most of my batchmates have in terms of studying our Major Subjects. I want to great at this even better. I want to prove that I can do it. I really wanna finish this course on time even if we’re already 1 year late because of failing Fundamentals of Music 1.

About Him, I’m just scared cause sometimes I lose, like sometimes I get lazy to text even forget to reply to him most of the time, since I’m busy with school and everything else in between. Its just that I’m so focused on school and preparing for my ambitious Anniversary surprise that will hopefully go according as planned. I’m just scared that he might think I’m taking him for granted or something. And the fact that my Guy friend always tease me and put ideas in my head that my boyfriends straying away. Argh Frustrating, But I trust him though, I Just don’t trust the girls that like-like him.

Right now I just want to relax my mind and just enjoy the process of everything.