Am I allowed to feel this way?

I don't really get jealous at all. I'm not that type of girl that gets jealous of little things he does with other girls.

Reason #1: because If I know the person's mine why would I worry right?
(But no he's not mine)

Reason #2: I know he loves my so why bother?
(I don't know if he loves me like the way I love him)

Reason #3: Jealousy is a monster it could break a relationship
(this is proven in cases of my friends)

Reason #4: too much DRAMA.
(I've been here before)

But for some reason I get jealous of other couples out there, I feel like they're so happy. I want to feel what they feel, Seriously i do, I WANT TO.

When I see my friends especially my girl best friend in the block and her guy.... I get super jealous. I try to not look but its hard to not notice them being so sweet and cute together. I was wishing he could do that to me, make me feel special, he does make me feel special but I mean like the shy innocent type of being special where he surprises you and hugs you from behind, unexpectedly holds your hand and says you're beautiful today. That kind of stuff but everything would just be a dream.... nothing ever will be real.

I've dreamt of times what If we were together what would happen? and what could I do to make you feel special from other guys I've liked. I've dreamt of you saying I'm your girl and shizz... But how I wish that could be true but it wouldn't. It's just too impossible people's feelings are involved either way both us girls would be hurt.

I've been going back and forth if i should stay or go...

If I stay:
-I'll hurt myself more
-I'll fall even more deeper
-I'll be there for you

If I go:
-I'll hurt myself even more
-I'll be depressed
-I can't be there for you

I could face the fact the fact that your happier with her... You are... but I'm not that selfless I also want you here by my side but keeping you here would confuse you and hurt us even more.

I love you but should I feel this way? Tell me.