I’ve been really down and done with everything that’s happening to my life. I swear I feel so tired both emotionally and physically with people who keep bringing back something that’s already done for a long time now. I’m feeling so judged by the some of the people I call my friends. I though friends were supposed to be the one who will understand you and not judge you for past mistakes you’ve done but they did.
In the past I’ve put myself in a situation where I just didn’t care what they were going to say because I was madly in-love, I wanted to go after my heart and with doing that I risked my reputation with everyone. When I was telling my friends everything that happened they were immediately appalled with what I have done but that time I didn’t care. I told them everything I know but for some reason I was being charged as someone who wasn’t saying the truth. I didn’t get it, I was just saying what I was feeling and experiencing with that person but I labeled a liar. I realized that with saying the truth and telling people my side of the story they would twist some of it, to something that was totally different from the original story itself. Thus, all the rumours about me.
Skipping to present (3 years after) I’m being subjected to the same thing all over again, not just me but the other person involved also. Both sides were compared side by side and critiqued to the very core. The stories kept progressing and progressing to things that NEVER EVEN happened. What do they want from me? Does that person find pleasure in making me miserable and depressed? because congratulations Miss you did it.
What do you want from me? I don’t know, I question myself that everyday. Do you want my happiness? Fine! it’s yours I’m already depressed as it is. Do you want my relationship with my boyfriend to end? I don’t wanna give up but I’m trying to push him away because I’m feeling like he’s already doubting me… He told me he wasn’t but I’m feeling that he is. What do you want from me? You’re all breaking me apart….
