Valentine's Day

Valentine's day started really down for me, I was down because I was jealous of the couples that were together today. Do you know that feeling where it's your anniversary and valentines day but you're not together since you study in different colleges? -_- It's really freaking hard :(( 

When I was with him tonight and his Family though he made me feel happy again. At first I wanted to stay mad at him but eventually I gave in to his sweetness. When he brought me to the car he gave me a card and a rose and told strictly to open it if my answer is yes... 

I didn't understand at all his instruction :)) So I waited till he called me then my mom told me to go up to check my room (since my room was under renovation I didn't think about anything at all ) So I went up to my room and when I went inside my room, I saw letters posted on my wall...WILL YOU GO TO PROM WITH ME... :"> 

Normally people would react in that situation but I didn't I became so speechless. Prom was the thing of my past I always thought. Since we already went through that when we were in High School. We haven't met yet then and we had different partners then. And I never thought that even if I was in college I would experience prom again but this time with him :"> 

then he was asking me what was on the wall and I can't fully wrap my head around the question, I was lost for words. He wanted my answer and for some reason I couldn't speak and kept saying Is this Serious?! then finally I said yes then he told me to open the card then yes it was serious. OMG PROM :"">

No one said it would be easy...

Things seem all too perfect but when the time comes and it seems to fall apart you just give up, you stop trying to make it work, you stop fighting for it...that ends a relationship.

I've had this thing where when it seems all too perfect and then all of a sudden I get scared because I know it will eventually go bad or something bad will happen. Then the bad thing happens and I make it more worse than it ever was. When it comes to a person I love or someone I care about, I try to push them away... cause I'm scared that they might leave me or go away. I know how pathetic right?!

But somehow this guy changed me, told me to stop trying to push people away and for the first time I listened. I learned so much from him and I've noticed I've changed for the better. Although there are some things I can't change. HAHAHA.

These past 2 years with this guy has really been amazing, happy, exciting, fun, sad... etc. And I realized this past year has been really testing for both of us, both in school and out of school. People would always assume that everything's perfect and alright between us, believe me most of the time it is but when I start to get dramatic, It's baaaad, Really really bad... For some reason there always has to be drama and it seems I'm always the one to blame, which is actually slightly true. Yes, okay fine I admit, I'm quite dramatic but who girl isn't?

There comes a time when people tend to get so comfortable in the relationship that you start to think that every time, your girlfriend/boyfriend would understand everything and anything you say or do to them. I think somewhere along the way that happened and somehow I just lost my patience and stopped understanding him. I started to get really clingy with him, because he lost time for me. Texts seem to get shorter, calls were composed of only goodnight and I love you's only, the usual conversations about the other's day were gone and somehow I felt that I wanted him to focus more on his studies than me. I wanted to that so badly at that time but I can't. I can't seem to get mad at him too long because I might risk loosing him because that meant that I just let the one guy who made me believe in love go.

Yes, cheesy as this may seem he did made me believe in love again. Through my life I always thought that love only leads to being hurt and lonely, that happy endings didn't exist, that decent guys were myths and that no guy would ever love me but all those stupid thoughts were shattered when I met him. I never really thought someone as wonderful as him would ever love as me, even knowing my mistakes. Really when you meet that someone you can't just let go and that person also feels that way for you, Thank God because you finally met your other half. :">

These past 2 years with him I would say brought me both closer to my family and to God. And I thank God every single day that God let me and Stephen meet.

Happy 2nd Anniversary Stephen!

Thank you for always being there for me no matter what, thank you for always understanding me even if I'm too immature at times and Thank you for Loving me the way that you do. I should thank you for so so many things but I'm loosing time cause it's almost 12. :)) I'm really lucky to have someone as special as you in my life! You inspire me to be better always... THANK YOU!!
You are my everything...

Love, Shara