To tell you the truth I'm scared, I'm scared facing tomorrow without the person I'm with now. You might say that, oh you're too young to be saying this, girl there's a lot of guys out there or You got to live life and face the world out there on your own. Things like that, I've been getting a lot of comment like this from friends, family and etc.
Even though I get a lot of these kinds of comments from them, it doesn't change the fact that I Love this person so much that it might hurt me a lot when I lose him. I've always been that kind of girl who falls to easily and when I fall for someone, I fall hard. Like dead hard girl!
It's too cliche but he's really my everything... the person who really even up to now gives me butterflies whenever I see him, the person who can really make my day even though it was rotten as hell, The person who I could totally be myself even in pajamas and the person who really knows me aside from my Mom.
But to tell you all the truth... everything is not as perfect as it seems. it's inevitable for a couple to not have misunderstanding and fights. It's a normal thing for everyone to go through and we're not really strangers to that also. Since we're studying in different Universities we rarely see each other nowadays, especially nowadays with our busy schedules. And with not seeing each other I tend to miss him A LOT and I start to get to needy for his time...
I get really needy and clingy, I think most girlfriends are. Most girls won't admit it but I for myself am certain that I'm a very needy and clingy girlfriend and Baby I'm sorry for that. An when I start to get needy everything just falls apart, plans of seeing each other fail, my surprises to see him fail (mostly because he can't get the hints that I give him and I end up giving up because it's too late and I gotta do lots of things.)
Then drama starts to happen because of me... all because I want some of his time. Sometimes I just don't know if I understand that he has to study or that I just don't. I know studies have to come first, It just has too but I don't know... I just want more time with him. Because maybe we don't get to spend much time as before school started and that bothers me so much. Sometimes I get scared because maybe he'll just get tired of me. I get scared cause I know I don't fully understand why he can't spend time with me. I get scared because maybe some other girl understands him and what he does more than me. I try to understand but sometimes I just don't
There was a this time that I just didn't understand why he can't see me or something like that on that same night I thought about asking him to give "US" a break. Because I wanted him to focus on his studies because I know school is a lot to handle plus me that's just chaos. But when I was talking to him I just can't, I just can't ask him, even thinking about asking him that makes me feel so very sad that I was holding back tears. Because I knew for a fact that I was too weak to do so and I Love him so much that I just can't let go.
I am utterly and irrevocably in-love with him. (yes that is quoted from Twilight, I'm sorry.) I just can't begin to imagine my life without him really.As I said he's my everything and he's God's answer to my prayers... I never really felt this much for anyone in my life. I've never seen so much dreams about a Family with him and how everything just falls into place just by being with him. Yes I am too young but I am mature enough to say that I don't want anyone else. I am that type of person who treasures and as much as possible keep a relationship going (only if the other person still wants to) I just don't see myself with anyone else, I just see myself with him happy and in-love.
And it's inevitable to say that....
Stephen,
I know I can be a LOT to handle and I know I get so clingy and needy to you most of the time and I'm sorry for that... It's really been an amazing 1 year and 5 months for us and to share those year,months,days,hours,minutes,seconds with you is just priceless... Always remember that no matter what happens I'll be here for you to be your Best Friend, Confidant and Girlfriend till the very end. I swear to be less needy, clingy and jealous SWEAR. Thank you for always supporting and guiding me whenever I feel lost in what I want to do with my life... Thank you for always cheering me up with your corny jokes and mga "pambobola" :)) You know how much I Love You Panda.... I just want to say thank you for being there always... :* I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, FOREVER AND ALWAYS...
