This picture would really define my happiness that night. It was fun and it was with him. Rare moments like this make me happy and with his busy schedule I can't waste any time when I'm with him.It's really hard for me right now. I can't contest with everything that's going around him, I can't express into words how should I feel or say every time I talk to him. I try to distract with myself with all the things I have to do with school and stuff but somehow, somehow memories flash back in my head and the next thing I know I'm distracted.
Anyway... Back to night. That night was full of emotions really since it was the 18th Birthday of a friend that's gonna go to the States this Thursday. Everybody, I mean all of us there didn't want her to go. Her trip was too sudden and all too real for us to get a grip on. I've known her for I think maybe a year now and I could say she's a good friend. We all wish she won't go but the transactions and the paperwork have gone smoothly so far... My friend gave her some "TIPS" or ways so she won't go but it was too ridiculous to be even done by someone in the right state of mind like her. Her only problem was not the trip itself but it's the trip back to Philippines because they won't give her the exact date or month she'll be back, That's what she's afraid of... not getting back.
That night also was our first formal event together! (other than my 18th okay?) So I made an effort to dress up and look pretty not only for myself but him. He had a very tiring weekend with A Basketball game and the Fun Run for Pasig, he was pretty much tired from all of these plus on Saturday he went to my house and surprised me with cinnamon roll (My Favorite!!) on hand. That Saturday was our first time seeing each other in a week maybe? I don't really remember but anyway... it was fun since we bonded and cuddled A LOT! But what made me sad about that day was the limited time I had with him, I know being with him now means saying goodbye later. Honestly, I didn't want him to go. I didn't want him to leave my side and break my embrace. I just wanted to be next to him and just be with him but his schedules won't let us, so I shrugged it off and I know I'll be seeing him tomorrow. When I saw him I was already dressed up and ready, I saw his eyes widen a bit and his big smile broke then he hugged me, I knew I've done well in dressing up, he's impressed (I think?). That night he was just at my side holding my hand and teasing me throughout the night. How normal I would react to his jokes but deep inside It was hard, I was struggling with controlling everything I felt and I know he noticed some of them. I tried to focus on the Debutante and the party, for a while it worked then sometime after dinner we headed to the bar and took some shots.
SIDE NOTE: Honestly, I don't get drunk with shots, I just turn red because of the allergies and I prefer Hard drink over beer anytime.
With alcohol in my system I get more hyper and quite emotional, I notice I'm more close to him, my gaze much more into him. I wanted to tell him how I felt, I wanted to tell him that he doesn't have to worry about me and I'll get through, even though we both know starting now it will be hard to see each other more often.
But Honestly, to tell you the truth... it won't be easy, it's gonna be hard. Since I can't contest and we've talked about priorities and school comes before our relationship.
This week his been sleepless with all the quizzes for the week and goodnight calls are no longer necessary since I know he'll be sleeping earlier than I am. Texts have been difficult because of our different schedules and the fact that Globe has some major issues adds more mess.
The question is... Can I take all of this..?? because it's gonna be a lot harder in the coming weeks.
