Stop fooling yourself

I should stop fooling myself that everything's okay and that I'm fine.
Trust me I try my hardest to forget my feelings for you, I DO! but as much as I try I just can't.
I love you I really really do and I miss you so much that I think I'm going crazy.

I say I'm okay but in truth I'm crying and breaking apart. I say I don't miss him but in truth I miss him so much. I tell myself to stop pretending but if I really told them what I feel they'll just ask me and ask me. So what to do now?

You talked to me again yesterday when you accidentally called my phone, it was weird hearing your voice again I miss your sweet voice. I talk on the phone with a new friend, He's super nice and he really respects me but nothing compares to you. I remember the way you pry those little stuff from my mouth about what I said or the way you laugh at the phone. It hurts to remember all those little stuff.

Love, I miss you. I miss the old you, I miss my best friend. What happened to us? what happened to our friendship? I've been going back to our conversations where is that person I knew, who always talked to me and just makes me happy all the time even through the little things.

I deleted texts and conversations after reading it, so I have a reason to not remember. The problem is how can I delete memories? all those times, all those great times we've been together you've forgotten?
How tell me how. Just please tell me how. I remember the dates, the moments, the hugs, the kisses and the way you tell me how I look that day. It's maddening.